Important questions of our time: Will a WAG ever leave her man?

Not likely! If you're stupid enough to get with a footballer who goes out clubbing and is regularly snapped by the pap with cheap & nasty hoe's, who then comes home and tells you that it's not his fault - it's the press that make him look bad because they need to sell papers, then the least you can be rewarded with is his cash. I'm reminded of a track intro from Dr Dre's 2001, which includes little gems like 'you knew when you got with the N*****that he already had a woman, but you f***ed him anyway, didn't you b****, didn't you!' & 'Mamma was a ho*, she was weekend p***y, she went an got pregnant, coz she was trying to keep a n***** that she wanted'

Words that should be banned....

Jeggings. Who says this?! Actually my friend Gemma does, but I don't like it, not one bit. Now I have to hear it weaving it's way into daily vocab by featuring on a Tesco advert - truly tradgic. Either get skinny jeans or leggings, don't combine the two. If your legs don't fit into skinnies, then jeggings sure as hell 'aint gonna work for you honey, just back off. It's time to admit to yourself that leggings are your only weapon. Step away from the jeggings and never say that hideous word again, yak!  

My day in pictures: Sepantine Gallery to Saatchi Gallery

Uncool shoes

MBT's - all (especially the boots). Crocs - any. Uggs - most. Birkenstocks - any. Vivienne Westwood jelly shoes - all (if you can't afford real designer shoes - just don't get any!).

Just how bad is a bacon sandwich?

Is a bacon sandwich really all that bad for you? It it much worse than un pain au chocolat? Important questions.

What do your Facebook status updates say about you - mine say I'm fat!

It has recently been brough to my attention that the majority (not all as certain people keep pointing out - bullies!) of my Facebook status updates are about eating and drinking. At first I decided I was being cyber bullied by my skinny friend and took great offence. When another 'friend' (I use the term losely after this incident) commented on the same thing I had to step back and take a good hard look at myself. I'd say 60% are linked to consumption of solids or liquids. Initially I thought 'shit, what a fatty loser, how embarassing to talk about food all the time!' however, on refelction I have come to two conclusions 1. Food is amazing, pretty damn interesting and definitely worth talking about 2. I'm not talking about eating it alone so everyone is just jealous of my socail life - ha! Actually I have a third one  - 3. If I was paid a decent amount by my employer I would be writing about holidays instead but I don't, so deal with the food updates people. If you don't like it - defriend me!

Things you don't want to hear, pretty much ever

1. The man from the video shop comment on how often you come into the shop.
2. Your boyfriend say your new haircut is 'cute', I think you mean sexy!
3. Your boyfriend say 'I love your tummy' - I think you mean six pack!
4. 1534 isn't that when you were born?! From a scrawny student who barely looks old enough to drink and who has almost certainly never had sex, unless with his dog &/ vacum cleaner counts