My concerns for the country: M&M's world

Something terrible and most horrifying has crept into the tourist heart of London and is brainwashing all who go. Under the guise of a confectionery shop it pretends to be a place where all should visit, a must see on the list of 'things to do in London if you are a mindless tourist who has no more imagination than to follow the bright lights and end up in Leicester square'. It's a multi storey shop selling, wait for it, M&M's dispensers. Oh of course! Dispensers for our Nations favourite chocolate. Oh no wait, we don't even bloody eat them over here and they're owned by Mars, an American company. Well that makes perfect sense then. Let's all go to London and spend £20 on an M&M's dispenser to take back to our poor unsuspecting relatives as a gift from one of the greatest cities in the world, who hopefully question why the f*vk you even walked in the front door of the place. These fools are everywhere I see them every day on the tube. Watch out for the yellow bag of idiocy (of course I don't mean the yellow bag from the actual hallowed ground).