Oh the terror of jeans shopping!

(Acne Jeans, Sweden)

I have £100 to spend on a pair of jeans which in my book is a pretty decent amount of money to be honest. The last pair were some All Saints numbers which came in at a very reasonable £50 (last time I was in there I picked up a jumper with a £250 price tag on, was it made from Rapunzels hair? I think not) and the pair before that were a whopping, not Wapping, £30 from the ever amazing H&M. £100 however seems to be the lower end for many jeans stores, £300 for a pair of jeans, no chance. I am determined however to find a beautiful pair for under £100. The most problematic part of the jean journey is finding somewhere that supports pig legs, big calves, big bum and a high waist ( I have been cursed I know), so that'll be nowhere then!
Understandably people with my unfortunate shape are often advised not leave the house, here I defy society and say 'let me live and let me wear denim!'. The next problem I face is that what in really looking for is a jean that will make my legs as long as Giselle Bundchen, my arse the size of Kylie's and a waist as neat as (enter name of someone with good waist). Again this is nigh on impossible. So what I have set out to do is acheive something totally unattainable, not only that, I have chosen to embark on this journey with a male! What am I thinking, wish me luck, you can see I'll clearly need it.